No One Dies... Probably
Discount Disconnect • Semi-professional company
About Discount Disconnect
No One Dies... Probably is a dark comedy play by Discount Disconnect at Shanghai during Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2026. Brad has just about managed not to get himself fired — or worse — months into an incredibly unsuccessful career as an assassin. Fed up with beans for dinner and wondering whether going back to Caffe Nero might be preferable, Brad swears something has to change. The show asks whether he will walk away with his morals intact or crumble under the pressures of his 'assassin' line manager. It runs 45 minutes, is suitable for ages 16 and over, and tickets are £3.
Why see this show?
An absurdly relatable dark comedy about a very bad assassin weighing beans for dinner against the moral cost of his job — at £3 for 45 minutes, No One Dies... Probably is one of the most affordable new writing shows at the Fringe.
Thursday 27 - Friday 28 August 2026
All performances at 13:00
2 performances
45 minutes
2 performers
Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2026
£3
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is the show?
No One Dies... Probably runs for 45 minutes.
Where is it performed?
The show is at Shanghai as part of Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2026.
How much are tickets?
Tickets are £3.
What is the age guidance?
The show is suitable for audiences aged 16 and over.
Are there any content warnings?
The show contains distressing or potentially triggering themes and strong language and swearing.
What is the show about?
Brad is months into an incredibly unsuccessful career as an assassin, weighing whether to walk away with his morals intact or crumble under the pressures of his 'assassin' line manager.
About This Theatre Production
No One Dies... Probably is a theatre performance at Shanghai during Edinburgh Festival 2026. Running for 45 minutes, this show is part of the world's largest arts festival, bringing together performers and audiences from across the globe.
Experience compelling storytelling brought to life by talented performers. Theatre at Edinburgh ranges from intimate black box productions to grand stage spectacles.
Venue: Shanghai
Shanghai is one of Edinburgh's Festival venues, hosting a variety of performances throughout August. Located in the heart of the city, the venue is accessible by public transport and within walking distance of other Festival locations.
Tips for Attending
- •Check for trigger warnings if sensitive to certain topics
- •Most Fringe theatre runs without interval
- •Latecomers may not be admitted
- •Consider matinee performances for a relaxed experience
Booking Information
Ticket Prices: From £3
Age Guidance: 16+
Content Warnings: Contains distressing or potentially triggering themes, Strong language/swearing
Book early to avoid disappointment. Popular shows sell out quickly during Edinburgh Festival.
Part of Edinburgh Festival 2026
Edinburgh Festival transforms Scotland's capital into the world's leading cultural destination every August. With thousands of performances across hundreds of venues, the festival offers unparalleled choice for culture lovers.No One Dies... Probably represents the theatrical innovation that makes Edinburgh Festival unique.
Looking for more theatre shows at Edinburgh Festival 2026?
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Data provided courtesy of the Edinburgh Festivals Listings API
